


Saving Josh

by toomanycups



Category: Until Dawn
Genre: Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friendship, Gore, Healing, NSFW, Romance, Self-Harm, mental health
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-22 11:46:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4834163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toomanycups/pseuds/toomanycups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Until Dawn, Sam and Chris go back down to the mines to find a mentally unstable Josh who hasn't been affected by the wendigo spirit, yet. They bring him back and this time they're going to be there for him. (Main pairing: Josh x Sam) (Any pairing in this is what I took away from the highest relationship status at the end of the game) (Detailed hallucinations, self-harm tw, detailed sexual content, PTSD, mental health talk in general)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Josh deserved better.

**February 21, 2015**

He marked the days down on his arm. It started off as a small scratch on day one, but as the days went by the marks down his arm grew deeper. He was trying to bring himself back. He wondered, if he dug deeper would it help him realize what was real. Some days the blood came out red, other days as maggots, other days as butterflies. On those days he would cry himself to sleep.

Josh became a husk in the mines. Sitting against the wall near a hanging man, he was tempted. His mouth started to water at the thought of flesh between his teeth, being able to swallow a meal. His diet had become snow, ice, and all the dirt mixed in it. His hands crawled over his face, shielding himself from the impulse of tearing the corpse down and doing the unspeakable. He could hear his sister's voices as he clenched his eyes shut.

_"We'll forgive you, Joshua."_

_"Dinner with the family, Joshua!"_

_"Joshua, you're a **monster**." _

**_"Swine!"_ **

The wall started to grab at him, pulling him down. He panicked, grabbing at the stone hands gripping him.

_Stop lying to me!_

**"We're here to save you. What you couldn't do for us."**

_I'm sorry! Please!_

Corpses started to pour from the wall. Their bones cracking as they began to stand and face him. Empty eye sockets with blood seeping from them glanced down at the boy. He was shaking. His vision beginning to blur as tears dripped down his face. He couldn't escape this time. It was real. This was real and he did it to himself.

Josh tried to scream, but realized when he spoke or tried to make a noise it just came out as wheezing. No one came to save Beth or Hannah. And now no one was going to save him. And he _deserved_ it. Warm hands ran up his shoulders and held tight as they lifted him to his feet.

_Help me._

Every time he blinked, the corpses dragged themselves closer to him.

_I deserve this._

He felt their breath on his neck. The sharp scent of rotting flesh entered his nose, mouth, and stung his eyes.

_Please, help me._

His eyes fluttered shut and his consciousness began to take him.

_Let me die tonight._

_Please, **let this be it**. _

 

 

With a blanket wrapped around his unconscious form, the medical team began to strap him on to the cot. Chris looked down at Sam who had been staring at her sleeping friend with her hands on her lips. She looked like she was praying. The blond boy placed a hand on her shoulder, breaking her from her thoughts.

"... Sam. He's-"

"I know."

"He's safe."

She nodded at him, her lips quivering.

"I _know._ "

Chris grinned at her, "Let's go home."

She couldn't hold back a shaking smile.

"Yeah... Let's take him home."


	2. Scratching

**February 24, 2015**

 

There was a scratching noise next to his ear for a good long time before he decided to open his eyes. The room was almost blinding with how white it was, excluding the small blue speckles on the tile floor. Josh's eyes were so heavy he wanted to go back to sleep, to wake from this obvious illusion. He shut his eyes and the scratching began again. Back in the mines.

_I'm still there. Back in the mines._

The familiar smell of mold and decaying gore started coming back to him. It was in his mind and not his nose which was confusing to him. He's had his hopes raised with visions of white hospital rooms just like this one. Regular visits to the ER and then the next week to Dr. Hill. His dreams dashed to find himself sobbing in the middle of a mineshaft. This was different. He heard a woman's voice. Curiously, he slowly opened his eyes, adjusting to the lights once more. The wrinkled face of Dr. Hill peered down at him.

"Mr. Washington," He spoke in his new-found feminine voice, "Are you awake?" It took a moment for Josh to process the question, and decided a shrug was the best answer. Then a nod. Followed by another shrug. Dr. Hill smiled, his eyes gentle. He checked Josh's IVs that were stuck into his arm and some other machines that were by his bedside. "How does a water sound?" Josh stared blankly at the man for a little, the voice not matching the face. He smirked a little, voice coming out hoarse, "How about a nice cold one, baby?" The older man straightened up, a grimace forming on his stern features. "What the fuck did you just say, you little shit?!" A boom left Dr. Hill before he lunged for the boy in the hospital bed. He closed his eyes and screamed, protecting his face from the oncoming attack.

When the blow he was expecting didn't come, his eyes opened again. A woman around the age of 30 was looking down at him with a worried expression playing across her features. "Do you want me to stay with you, Mr. Washington? I can call someone else to get you a water if you want?" Panting, Josh slowly dropped down his guard, analyzing the woman.

"Y, Your name?"

"Rebecca, but you can call me Becky."

"Becky... I'll," He stopped himself, still unsure of a couple things. "Am I... Am I out? Of-"

"Blackwood? Yes, Josh. A retrieval team went down to retrieve you about," She quickly checked her clipboard, "Three days ago." Josh scoffed and shook his head.

"I was going to say _hell_..."

The nurse stared at him, he could see the sympathy in her eyes and for some reason the gesture was starting to piss him off. She took notice of the growing silence and cleared her throat. "I'm going to go grab that water, alright? Hopefully within the next couple days we can start weening you back onto solid food." Becky placed her pen in her clipboard clamp and hugged it to her chest. A reassuring smile formed on her lips, beeming at Josh. It could of been made a pure sunshine that smile.

"Welcome back, Josh." She turned and left the room. He shook his head, wishing he could of felt that sunshine instead of this growing nausea. He allowed his eyes to wander the room to get his mind off the brewing bile in his empty stomach. Once his eyes caught his glimpse of his left arm he wished he would of kept his eyes anywhere but himself. It had been wrapped up neatly like a little present.

_Oh, do I wonder what mommy and daddy got me this Christmas! Hope it's a puppy, ah-tee-hee-hee~!_

There was a small click and his eyes shot up at the once ajar door. They left him alone. He tried to stay calm, maybe it was a draft.

 _Becky, Becky will be back with the water soon. Why am I getting so worked up over a door. I could beat the shit out of that door. But,_ His breathing picked up. _What if it's in the room. The scratching? It clawed it's way back? Clawed into the room? It's in the room._

_It's in the room._

_It closed the door and it's in the room._

_Is she in the room?_

He opened and closed his mouth over and over trying to moisten his mouth and throat. Any attempt at it was useless since his breathing dried the saliva up as soon as he could produce any.

_No._

A hand started to slide out from under the bed.

_No, no._

The flesh rolling off the bone as the other hand began to clench the sheets.

_"You hungry, boy?"_

Each breath turned into a whimper, his eyes starting to water. He wanted to run, he wanted to scream, but he was back at the mines in his hospital bed. No one saved him. They lied to him again. He shouldn't of trusted them. The figure leaped out from underneath the bed and ontop of him. The decaying corpse.

"Eat up, Josh. You wanted to eat me, right?"

_N-No, please. No. I was so hungry. Please, no!!_

The corpse began to slowly grip the skin from his face, dragging it down his exposed muscle.

_"Time for dinner!"_

_"Eat up, Josh!"_

_Beth._

_"Right to the bone, Josh!"_

_Hannah._

_"I did it, Josh! I did it so I could see you again! Eat the flesh, Josh! And then you can see me again, too!"_

_Hannah... No._

Tears streamed down his face. Their voices were so clear, they were right there. He could feel the man breathing in his face. The stench of decay filling his lungs. He could feel the bile fill his mouth. Leaning over the hospital bed he began to heave. He could taste the stomach acid and iron on his tongue.

"It's okay, Josh. Let it out. I have your water right here." 

Through wet eyes, he could see Becky holding a trash bucket underneath him. Once she was sure he was out of the hallucination, she began to rub his back.

"You're safe, Josh."

"T,The door!"

"I'm sorry, one of our staff must of closed it, but I can assure you we'll keep it open from now on. You're not alone, Josh. You are safe."

He started to weep and spit into the bucket, trying to rid himself of the taste of bile and blood. On beat, Becky reached for the cup of water and helped the shaking boy drink. He quickly swallowed the water and wiped his lips with the back of his hand. Becky reached for a towel and offered him that instead. Nodding, he grabbed the towel and wiped the sweat from his face and throat before his mouth. He rested his back on the bed again.

"Thank... Thank you, Becky," Josh weakly uttered out. She just smiled back and fixed his pillow and took the trash can away. "When you're feeling up to it, I'll let you fill out your visitation chart." Josh felt his heart sink. Who was going to want to visit him after the stunt he pulled that night. He almost got everyone killed. Just like how he blamed himself for his sister's disappearance and deaths.

"Do you know a Sam and Chris?" His eyes automatically perked up to look at Becky.

"S-Sam? Chris? Yes, they're my," Josh bit his lip. "I know a Chris and a Sam. Why?"

"Well, they've been trying to see how you've been the past couple days. We, of course, can't disclose that information without your permission. Even then, it's best if anything involving you comes from you."

Josh mulled over this information in his mind. He couldn't help but to wonder if they were the one to tell them about the mines. He's glad they made it out. He didn't necessarily want to prank them, but they were there. They had a part in his sister's disappearance. He needed the prank. For himself. For them. For Beth and Hannah. He still loved his friends, even though all of them were assholes in their own respect. Heck, he was an asshole. But, he needed to see them. He needed to speak to them. They know what he's seen. They can understand better than any of these Doctors or Nurses.

"Y,Yeah. Whenever you can get me that visitation chart," He attempted to smile,

"That would be nice."


	3. Forgiveness

**March 3, 2015**

 

The pacing was driving him mad. The noise and the fact that it was going on at all. Sam didn't pace, she went for whatever was on her mind. The worst part to him was the reason for the pacing. The thing that would set Sam off to do her little marathon around the room. It had been 45 minutes. He ignored it at first, but now it was like he didn't have a choice but to sit there and peer at Sam. It was like he was trying to drill a hole into her head and drop bombs that screamed, "DON'T DO THE THING YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT DOING." This wait was killing him.

"Hey, uh," he hesitantly threw words out into the cloud of tension, "So, are you gonna do it or not? Your pacing is giving me joint pains."

Sam stilled her pacing and shot a glare over at the boy sitting in the corner of her apartment.

"You know, I could use a little support here, Mike," she sighed folding her arms for mental protection.

Mike pushed air through his nose and reluctantly began to stand. "I didn't mean anything by it. I just, you know, I don't trust this guy," he grimaced. "He invited us into hell for a prank that almost got all of us killed." He began to close the gap between them, looking down at Sam with something close to sympathy in his eyes. "Do you really want to forgive a dick like him?" Two fingers were gently placed underneath Sam's chin while a thumb slowly stroked her lower lip.  
For a moment, she was captivated by Mike's gentleness. Both of them became attached to one another after returning home. Always spending the night at each other's apartments, the nightmares and visions too much to sleep alone.

Sam snorted and smiled at Mike, swatting his hand away gently. "I forgave a dick like you, I think I can give Josh the benefit of the doubt."  
"A dick? Like ME? I am hurt, Samantha," Mike placed a hand over his heart, feigning hurt feelings. "I'm basically a saint."

Sam rolled her eyes and went to grab her bike helmet. Mike immediately frowned.

"Sam?"

She paused before placing her helmet on her head, turning to face him as she was fastening the straps. "Yeah?" She tried to casually brush off the fact that she was leaving.

"Now, it isn't any of my business, but I'm telling you," his eyebrows wrinkled, "Seeing Josh-- Bringing him back into our lives-- It isn't a good idea. The guy is off his rocker." Mike sounded defeated. He knew Sam, and once she had her mind set on something she went for it. Sam's expression dropped.

"Maybe if I would of been there more... Maybe he would of stayed on his meds or--"

"It isn't your fault. You were in school most of the time, there would of been no way to reach out more than you already did. Please, you just--"

Sam sped to the door, opening it. "I don't want to talk about this anymore, I'm going."

Letting go of a breath he didn't know he was holding in, Mike gave up. Slowly, the blonde faced him, a reassuring smile on her face. You could tell she was anxious, but was ready to do this. She _needed_ to do this.

"Don't wait up, Southern boy."

Immediately smiling, Mike shot Sam a set of finger guns. "Tarnations!"

Mike could hear her still giggling from the first floor.

 

 Leaving the apartment was easy, but once she began to stop on the seemingly looming hospital grounds she started to second-guess herself. She had spoken to Josh over the phone, not saying more than 2 paragraphs between each other. Just a basic hey-I'm-alive-and-you-can-visit-me-for-the-next-two-weeks. He sounded drained to Sam. She couldn't blame him. They all had gone through their own personal hell, but at least they weren't trapped in a mine for over 3 weeks.

A quick check in at the front desk and Sam was pointed in the direction of Josh's room. She didn't tell him that she would be visiting. Honestly, she found out just this morning when her class was cancelled and her job didn't schedule her for that day either. So, she was free. Surprising him had it's upsides, though. She was able to pace around for a good 10 minutes before finding the room. Sam could imagine Mike's complaining now about the pacing.

Josh's door was already ajar, she could even see the corner of his bed from the doorway. Her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest. She could always turn back, he would never know.

Sam heard a cough which almost made her jump. Josh was awake. It was now or never. She stepped into the room, pushing the door open as she went. Josh was sitting up in his hospital bed, a tray of food by his side and a juice box in his hand. Sam gulped down a breath of air, unsure of how she felt seeing him. She was ecstatic, nervous, angry, and for some reason speechless. What do you say to a friend who terrorized you and your group of friends to put his own mind at ease of the deaths of his sisters? What do you say to a friend who also had to be saved from starvation from a mine?

Josh heard Sam come in and casually looked over at her, thinking her to be another nurse checking up on him. Once he realized that it was Sam, his eyes widened and he quickly put his juice down on the tray. Compared to the white room, she stood out in her jeans and blue long sleeved top with white scarf.

He looked at her like she was the sky.

Sam stared back at him in awe. He looked so much better than what her, Chris, and the rescue team found in the mines a week ago. The color was already coming back to his face, but she knew he had a long way to go before he got the life back in his body again.

"Hey," her voice came out in almost a whisper. Her voice made him jump, breaking him from his trance. "S-Sammy, Hey! Uh," he motioned to the chair next to him with such excitement it looked like he was going to jump out of bed and pull it out for her. The chair creaked beneath her as she sat down. All of their attention was on one another, but two totally different expressions.

Josh held his blanket in his fists as he smiled down at his visitor. Noticing she wasn't as enthralled about this as he was his smile began to fade away. Sam regretted not showing any emotion, this was the first time in over a year she had seen light in those hazel eyes. He cleared his throat looking away for a moment to take a sip from his juice box.

"I-I, Sam, I just," he turned back to her and sighed, "I'm... I'm glad it's you. I-I mean," looking at her seemed to make him lose words so he chose to look at the window, "I'm glad you made it here." His eyes began to look heavier. For a moment, Sam thought he might actually cry. Josh shook it off and glanced back at her.

"I also, just... want you to know I'm s-so... _sorry_."

Sam's breathing hitched. Immediately, she stood up from her chair ready to scream at him.

_Are you sorry for punching Ashley? Are you sorry for betraying Chris? Are you sorry for putting us all in danger? Sorry for watching me bathe like a creep? Sorry for me having to see what Hannah became because I couldn't stop the prank? Are you sorry for that?!_

Fear lit up in Josh's eyes and in that moment Sam knew she had to control herself. She wasn't speaking to the "Psycho", she was speaking to Josh. Sam skimmed over Josh's food tray where a little pill bottle rested. She was speaking to her friend.

Taking a moment to compose herself, she hesitantly stepped closer to him. He looked at her expectantly. Getting down on one knee, she reached for his hand. His breathing deepened and he allowed her to touch him.

"Do you mean it? Like," she gently squeezed, "Do you understand what you did?"

He broke eye contact, mulling the answer over in his head.

"Y-Yes. I was selfish. And not everyone deserved what I did. No one did." _Especially not you, Sam._ He scratch his neck in thought, trying to keep himself all there. "I needed help. I needed this. Y-You," his eyes met hers, "You were an angel, Sammy. But, I needed something that you couldn't give me." Josh placed his other hand on top of hers, holding her there, "A-And you, you gave me the _world_. I don't think I could ever begin to thank you for that."

With that, Sam started to smile.

"Josh?"

"Yeah?" He couldn't hold back a grin himself.

"I missed you so god damn much. Can I? I mean, is it alright to...?" She had her arms open, waiting for an answer.

Feeling like he was going to pass out, his grin got even wider and he nodded.

"Please do."

She rose up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, touching her chest to his. He carefully hugged her back, making sure not to overexert himself in the process.

This is what he needed. Both their hearts were beating fast, and neither made a peep about it.

Sam brought her mouth close to Josh's ear and whispered, "Welcome home, Josh."

She felt him tighten his grip and she swears she heard him choke back a sob.

"C-Can we just," he was even trying to hold back the tears anymore, "Stay like this?" _Forever?_

Sam nodded against his shoulder. "Visiting hours are over in a couple hours. I think we can squeeze some more hugs outta this visit."

For what felt like the first time in a long time, Josh laughed. Not loud or hysterical, just a small chuckle. And that was all Sam needed to know this visit was worth it.

 

After hours, Sam called up Mike to pick her up with his car. She would leave out the fact she still couldn't travel alone at night next time she saw Josh.

She told herself she'll try to leave a little earlier next time.

But, she knows already she probably won't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! All of your comments and kudos are fantastic, thank you! I'm gonna try to keep up with this fic and post 2-3 times a month. Things seem all fine and dandy now, but what's going to happen when Josh's two weeks in the hospital are up? And what's going on with his friends? Sam seems to forgive him, but what about everyone else? Why am I asking you this? I'm the author so I already know??


End file.
